Fear of acceptance

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My first exposure to adoption happened many years ago as a teenager. We had a family friend that legally adopted two children after years of childlessness. She was afraid to let anyone know the kids were adopted. I could not understand her desire to lie about the process of her having those children until many years after.

I remember sitting in the church and during a testimony, a woman who was dedicating her child slighted other women who couldn’t conceive and give birth. To her, there was something wrong and ungodly with women who could not give birth ‘naturally’. What nailed my contempt was when she stated that ‘they did not pray or believe God enough’. Continue reading

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THE WAGGING TONGUES

imageWhat makes one a coward?
Not finishing what he started or not trying at all?
Should we be labeled weak because we walked miles and decided to pause or change a particular route?
There are other keys in the bunch, can’t I try them out?

If something is no longer working, should we die with it or pull out?
What’s your definition of not giving up?
How do you define strength?
Sweating beyond your pores or knowing your limits?

I have so much tears stored in my eyes, but men and big girls don’t cry right? Continue reading

WHO ARE YOU?

IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEADall-in-your-head

When I was much younger, I pulled back from a lot of fights. I rather hurt and bear certain pains than talk about it. I swallowed things up and choked on many, while those that hurt me walked around with their heads up.  I was the one who could let others have the bigger share of things. Sometimes I’ll have to manage the leftovers or leave entirely with nothing.  I couldn’t say NO to certain demands because I couldn’t stand up for what I want or believe in.  I wallowed in bull$h*t because I allowed it. I wanted peace so much that I had to sacrifice my own happiness. I was so afraid of being ME. People’s opinion mattered so much. Continue reading